​Let's Talk Mental Health

Growing up as an Asian-American, I was always made aware that I was not a “true American.” Throughout my entire childhood, I would always be asked “where are you really from” because simply saying “I’m from America” despite being born in America, was not a good enough answer. I needed to say that I was “from China” because that’s what I was perceived as by others, namely white Americans. As I got older, these questions transformed into microaggressions that made sure I was reminded that I was an outsider. From being told “I speak great English as a Chinese person” to consistently being asked if “I loved anime” or “if all Chinese people had tiny feet like me,” I was consistently othered by those around me to strangers I was not even keen to interact with, it was like I could never escape the never ending cycle of being told I was different. Yet, these were easy for me to brush off as I accumulated years of experience in learning to tune out microaggressions. 

 

Not only did I learn to brush aside microaggressions and even just flat out racism, I was expected to. Asian Americans like myself are expected to mold to the “model minority” myth where we are expected and told to keep our heads down because so long as we can conform to white society and standards we can achieve success. We are told that we do not face racism or problems or glass ceilings in America because of our academic and professional achievements. As we are consistently othered, we are simultaneously made invisible. This has been something that has been extremely difficult to grapple with because I feel that my struggles with identity and belonging are invalidated as a result of the societal structures that have told us, as Asian Americans, to remain silent about racism and microaggressions.

 

Dealing with such pressure to remain silent creates cycles of anxiety and depression, where although I feel immune to microaggressions and racist remarks I still fear receiving them and having to just take them on the chin and let them go. It's depressing to experience such hatred while needing to pretend like everything is okay. 

 

Deeper reflection and our discussion here at Let’s Talk Mental Health about Cathy Park Hong’s Minor Feelings has made me hyper aware of how problematic the model minority myth is and trying to remain silent about the racism we deal with as Asian Americans. No longer should we try and view our own feelings as “minor feelings” but its time for us to stand up for ourselves. We are valid in the way we feel and our voices and narratives deserve to be centered.